Grief is a journey, not a destination that brings an ending. In the ongoing healing process we can become more compassionate and real individuals. Hopefully, we encounter others who can listen and resources that serve as catalysts in our healing.

The metaphor of being lost and wandering in a range of unfamiliar mountains of emotion during the grief process often helps individuals to see -- and feel -- the need not only to read but also to get help from an effective grief counselor.

Life sometimes suddenly transports us to new growing ground -- a seed sprouts and soon has blossoms, a chick leaves an egg, a cocoon releases a butterfly. Grief can be this type of growth expirience.

Death, even illness, forces us to look at and reframe what we consider life and what is important in life.

One day, I realized that what I was unknowingly holding on to was NOT my loved ones but the pain which had replaced them in my life. Once that realization hit me, it was relatively easy to let go of the pain and refocus on the love, memories and joy they brought into my life. This allowed me to say good-bye and let those I love re-enter my life in some beautiful and deeply connected new ways.

Grief is a time of rebuilding identity and is experienced not only when death occurs, but after one leaves a house that has been a home, a relationship, a job, or when children leave home for kindergarten or college (empty nest), and when a pet dies. Grief can occur with a marriage, as well as after divorce.

We must honor and work through our grief or it will not let us rest.

Unprocessed grief keeps us from going forward in life and blocks joy in living.

Grief is a healing process which connects the present and the past and can eventually offer joy and new meaning in one's life.

It took me a long time to realize that I will always have my children, my mother and others I have loved and have died; they never leave my heart. There are still pain-filled moments, yet now, they do not last so long. Acceptance is a choice and is necessary for survival and going on in a positive way.

I cannot place the blame for any lack of productivity in life on the death of our sons. That would be a triple tragedy.

There is a deep bond -- that often needs no words -- with others who have had loved ones die.

One of the privileges of grief is to be able to help others who are struggling. Those just starting the journey need to know that they, too, can survive through the grief process. Connecting with someone who had survived the climb gave me the gift of hope. I am passing this gift to others.

Part of my motivation in global issues is related to my own experience of having two of our three children die. In my international hunger, health and dignity activism travel, I meet bereaved parents in remote villages at the top of the Bolivian Andes and in the deepest jungles of Indonesia. Their grief is no less than mine. There is in instant bond - see the piece Bonded pag 47 in Grief: Climb Toward Understanding.

There is always risk in raising children. Even if I knew the outcome -- the death of two of our three children -- I would take the risk of having children again.

It is helpful to talk with, or read the story of, someone who has walked this difficult road of grief and has reconnected again with life.

Each of us knows people who have not grieved fully and have paid for it with ill health and in other reactions. Anger and self-produced guilt often combine with attachment to the pain of loss. This can create enormous personal tragedy and may result in a lifelong lack of full productivity and peace if not illness.