Most any way you climb the ladder
of Goal Setting, it works.

Goal setting began for Phyllis in her early teens when her Dad, who had been to a class, challenged the family to write down on a sheet of paper six things they each wanted to accomplish in the rest of the year. We were cautioned not to talk about our goals with anyone else.

At the end of the year he called a family meeting and brought out the envelope of the sheets on which the goals were written earlier that year. To Phyllis's surprise, every item on her list, no matter how far-fetched it seemed at the time, had been accomplished. She recalls one goal on her list at 12 years old was to buy a horse trailer. A trailer would mean she would no longer have to ride her horse five miles into town and then home each Sunday for quadrille practice. Without talking about it, somehow by the end of the year she had saved enough to buy a used trailer. But trailers don't drive and neither do 12-year-olds. Now the problem was to find someone to pull it. She found a friend who had the same problem. The friend's father agreed haul the girls' horses so her friend didn't have to ride all the way to the practice arena.

Each year since 1953, Phyllis has written down her goals for the New Year. After she married Bill, he wanted to try the process, and they began doing it together. Eventually they involved their children. Before the children could read they drew pictures of what they wanted to do, and later they wrote out the goals they wanted to accomplish.

The process follows:

1. Talk over general dreams for the upcoming year as a family.
2. Make one list of all the things anyone wants to do during the upcoming year as a family . Even just a hope to accomplish: vacation ideas, savings goals, classes that sound interesting, and events to attend, etc.
3. Then with a copy of that list, on their own, each person writes out his or her own list of the items in categories they want to acheive, adding in any personal items and wishes. The categories we used early in the experience were: Home, Family, Education, Spiritual, Social, Physical, Personal and Business more recently we have added "Lighter Footprint" and other categories in which we want to do something or improve skills.

People kept asking us what we were doing differently with our children, as they seemed to accomplish so much in a year. All we could think of that might be different from what most other families we knew was that we used a goals process. By the time Dawna and Derek were 7 and 9, we had developed a class on family goal setting. We each taught 1/4 of the class as Bill and Phyllis knew by teaching the children would learn even more about Goal Setting. We taught the class several Sunday afternoons each year. Community organizations churches and groups of individuals frequently requested the 3-hour class.

We each developed our own Lifeime Goal Statement following is Phyllis's:
"I will live an intentional, meaningful life; one that is filled with peace, love and joy. As a Global Citizen it is important to me to have balance in my life planning areas and to use advanced decisions in accomplishing my goals. I want to live with awareness, be loved and appreciated by those whose lives touch mine, and I want help inspire us all to work toward a kinder, more inclusive world by helping people be aware of what is happening and to feel good about themselves. I want to build my "lighter footprint" skills using fewer resources, have fun doing almost everything, learn something new each day, smile more and be more playful. I will use my time and effort to help create a welcoming, calm and inspiring home. I want to leave each experience and each day knowing the world is a better place."

Each of us had a list of Lifetime Advance Decisions. This makes it easier to avoid temptations when they arise. The list might begin, I have Chosen to: Never use mind altering drugs. Not smoke or chew tobaco. Not experience sex outside of marriage.

We did not teach the class for about 15 years after Derek was killed, but then some folks asked us to teach it again. We did so at a church; it was interesting even to Bill and me how important the Goal Setting methods and the concept had become for Dawna.

It is important to start slowly, with just a few goals that are important to you, possibly one goal in each Life Goal Area. Over the years of using these ideas, we have further refined the process. A sample of our current, more-detailed process follows.

Click here to download a blank sample goal sheet.